Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Oh... Please Take Me Back!




Officer Is A Liar

A young Mexican boy walks up to his mother...

A young Mexican boy walks up to his mother...

with his face covered in flour and says, "Look mami, I'm a white boy!" His mother takes one look at him and slaps him across the face. She replies, "Go show your father what you have done!"

So the little boy runs to the other room where his father is and shouts, "Papi look! I'm a white boy!" Just as the mother did, the father slaps him across the face and says, "Go show your grandmother what you have done, maybe she can knock some sense into you."

The little boy runs out to the garden where his grandmother is and says, "Grandma, look! I'm a white boy!" His grandmother slaps him across the face, grabs him by the ear and sits him on the floor. She gives him a long speech about why he should be proud to be Mexican and why he shouldn't try to ever cover up his true identity.

The boy then slowly walks back into the kitchen, past his mother. She asks him, "So, what did you learn?" The boy replies, "I've only been white for 10 minutes and I already hate you people."

Monday, August 30, 2010

Man Blowing a Bubble, by Mitch Ansara

Important Text Message

...Or Taking A Picture?


Sunday, August 29, 2010

Perfect Photo Timing

Friday, August 27, 2010

Internet Meme's Explained

Online University
Via: Online University

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Sly And Arnold



Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Terry Alan Crews Shirtless

Terry Alan Crews is a funny man!


Especially in tough man company...in the movie "The Expendables

Sylvester Stallone
Jason Statham
Jet Li
Dolph Lundgren
Randy Couture
Steve Austin
Terry Crews
Mickey Rourke
Bruce Willis

NSFW To Infinity And Beyond!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Doggonit... say it ain't so

Pirate Walks Into A Bar...

So a pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!" "What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine." The bartender says, "But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really." "Yeah," says the bartender,

"But what about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands." "Well," says the pirate, "We were in another battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really." "Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye." "So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!" "Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Marina Sands Hotel, Singapore





Saturday, August 21, 2010

Android Snooze Alarm Math

Friday, August 20, 2010

Best Shower Curtain


The problem with that is that it gives someone with a knife perfect cover to hide behind.

I would be really pissed if I installed that as a joke and then actually died because there was someone with that exact shape hiding behind the silhouette.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Sarah Jessica Parker as Slave Leia

Soul Calibur Boobs

Video games and comic books are the few havens where large breasted women can find positive depictions in this cruel, hate-filled world.

Video evidence for...ehem, research purposes




Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Going for...

FAP at rear entry = Fire Assembly Point, located at the rear of the building.



Here's Why The Chicken Cross The Road

Monday, August 16, 2010

Internet Explorer 15 years

Internet Explorer has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconvenience.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Demotivators



Saturday, August 14, 2010

The Office, Comic

Tomb Raider Boob Sizes

Friday, August 13, 2010

D.I.C.K.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Spidey Sense

Spiderman Can!


Save Some For Me!

Watching intently!




Hear is another one with a girl mining for gold!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Shake Knob, Rub...


Panasonic Viesa Ad

Elyse Porterfield

This is in reference to the jobless whiteboard girl and her involvement with the Chive Hoax!



Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Almost Anything....

Monday, August 9, 2010

Nerdy Dinner For 2

Joke: Old Man Sample

An 85-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a semen sample as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man appeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing.

'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

'We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked!
'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied

'Yep, none of us could get the jar open.'

Sunday, August 8, 2010

WTF Car Crash

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Jazz Hands Fail

Friday, August 6, 2010

Elaborate Pot Growing Operation

I've always wanted a house with secret passageways.







________________________________________________

Check out these Cinnamon Bun Earrings! [Enlarge]


Also Check: Double Sling Shot Fail!


_________________________________________________

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Diesel Engine

Cubical Warfare

Tighten, Toss, Run!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Can We Pretend That Airplanes In The Night Sky Are Like Shooting Stars?

Monday, August 2, 2010

Fuck My Life

Guys, I'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker fucking hates my guts. I have repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart and a gorgeous southern bell. I love her. You know what it's like; I've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all fucking worse is that I live in a fucking pineapple under the sea.

Some people are just FOREVER ALONE!

_________________________________________________


Also Check: Chilean Miners, Mario Style!!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Pushing Steve Job's Button