Saturday, July 31, 2010
Friday, July 30, 2010
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
More available here and here as well...NSFW obviously
More Awesome Photography: From 9kik and DailyAcid
More Awesome Photography: From 9kik and DailyAcid
Friday, July 16, 2010
...and stuck my cock in her mouth.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Tobias Fünke, M.D., Analrapist
"I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks." "I've been in the film business for a while, but I just can't seem to get one in the can." "...even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up." "Michael, you are quite the cupid. You can stick an arrow in my buttocks any time." "Michael, you are not quite the ladies man I had pictured. Hopefully, we will remedy that when we are in the spa spreading body chocolate on each other. " "Who'd like a banger in the mouth?" "A squirt of frosting down the throat helps to take your medication / In the most delicious way... "
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
I ran out of toilet paper the other day, and luckily I had my cellphone and called the wife. She told me to just wipe with a dollar, which luckily I had in my pants pocket. When she walked in the door I had shit all over me. She asked me what the hell happened, and I replied "You try and do better with 3 quarters, two dimes and a nickel."
Monday, July 12, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
One man walks up to her. "Sister," he asks, "have you ever actually tried an alcoholic beverage?"
"Well, no" she replied.
"So how can you speak ill of it when you have never tried it?"
"That's a good point. Perhaps you could get me something to try?"
"Of course. What would you like?"
"What would a lady drink?"
"Okay - if you could bring me a manhattan, but have them put it in a paper cup so that nobody knows I am partaking?"
The man walks into the bar and orders a manhattan in a paper cup. The bartender looks at him and says "Is that fucking nun out there again?"
The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."
The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."
The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.
The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.
After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "
The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Dix, who won the 100 meters and placed second at the U.S. nationals last weekend, said his race experience had helped, "but I'm a little beat up, too."
"I was a little sloppy out of the blocks, but I was able to hold on," he added. "Tyson gave me great competition."
Actual Reuter's Article Here...
This can't be accidental.
Monday, July 5, 2010
6 Headland Park, Plymouth, United Kingdom
Wayne: So, do you come to Milwaukee often?
Alice Cooper: Well, I'm a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century.
Pete: Hey, isn't "Milwaukee" an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. In fact, it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."
Wayne: I was not aware of that.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
So the farmer gives the man the goat, and doesn't see him again until a week later. The farmer asks, "How'd the raffle go?" "Great, I sold 100 tickets for $10 bucks each. I made $990". The farmer is incredulous. "Didn't anybody complain about the dead goat?" "Only the guy that won, so I gave him his money back."
Saturday, July 3, 2010
1) Definitely lose the game right now
2) Save it with a hand-ball, take the red card and make them take the penalty
Red cards don't mean shit when you're out of the tournament.
There was absolutely no excuse for Ghana to miss that penalty kick... oh well!
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, 'OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?'
'No drama boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.'
So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and Tom Cruise shouts, 'Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!'
Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical.
After they leave Cruise's house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
'No, no, just name anyone else,' Dave says.
'President Bush,' his boss quickly retorts.
'Yup,' Dave says, 'Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington .' And off they go.
At the White House, Bush spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up.'
Well, the boss is much shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
'The Pope,' his boss replies.
'Sure!' says Dave. 'I've known the Pope for years.'
So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican when Dave says, 'This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope.'
He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican .
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, 'What happened?'
His boss looks up and says, 'It was the final straw - you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who the f**ks that on the balcony with Dave?'