4 Dudes: May 2010

Monday, May 31, 2010

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Open the door already!

What's the point of a sliding lock anyhow...Here's how someone can defeat a sliding chain lock with just a rubber band.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Where The White Man Went Wrong

If it is hard to read...

Indian Chief Two Eagles was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."

The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he can improve system like that!"

Thursday, May 27, 2010

New BP Logo

What a crude sense of humor...oil that is...black gold!

Another idea...

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Short And Sweet Jokes

What did the ocean say to the penguin?
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Nothing it just waved.

What's red and bad for your teeth?
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A brick.

What's yellow and can't swim?
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A bulldozer.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
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Dr. Dre

What's red and smells like blue paint?
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Red paint.

How did Hitler tie his shoes?
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In little nazis

What do you call a fish without an eye?
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Fsh!

Why does snoop always carry an umbrella?
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Fo drizzle

A penguin is waiting for his car to be fixed and goes to get some vanilla ice cream. Because of his awkward flippers, he gets vanilla ice cream all over himself while eating it.

When he returns, the mechanic gives him the prognosis and says "Well, it looks like you've blown a seal". The penguin desperately replies-- "No, no, this is ice cream!"

The clerk then carefully balances the lip balm on the top of his bill while thinking to herself, "Well, at least now we've solved the issue of how this talking duck was going to carry the lip balm without opposable thumbs, but he still hasn't announced any form of payment. Surely he doesn't think his meager pun will stand in for monetary compensation." All of a sudden the duck bolts for the door, all the while maintaining the lip balm on his bill with incredible balance - it was clear, now, that he'd run this scam many times in the past. The clerk phones the police to report the crime, and within minutes, a nearby patrol car picks up the duplicitous duck. He now awaits trial on one count of misdemeanor theft.

Looking Into The Past

Through Photos...very nice photography!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Tough Seagull

Further proof that seagulls are brainless creatures who exist on a steady diet of french fries and hate.

Ballpoint = BP, can we blame this on the oil spill?

Can I Get A F-Yeah!

Total badass...

Were Dinosaurs Dumb?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Mormon Jokes....

A Mormon checks in to a hotel. As he's leaving the front desk, he says to the clerk "I hope your porn is disabled."

The clerk replies, "It's just regular porn, you sick fuck."

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Q: Why is it better to take two Mormons fishing with you instead of one?

A: If you take one, they'll drink all your beer.

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Q: What happens when someone brings beer to a party at BYU?

A: Everyone puts on their clothes and goes home.

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A Mormon, a Catholic, and a Jew take a walk through the park together.

Along the way they find a bag full of money and decide to donate some, and keep some for themselves, but first must decide how much to donate.

The Mormon suggests that they draw a circle on the ground, throw the money into air, and donate whatever lands outside the circle. The Catholic too suggests that they draw a circle, throw the money in the air, but instead donate what lands inside the circle. The Jew suggests that they forget the circle, but still throw the money the air, saying that whatever god wants, he'll keep.

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Italian and a Jew are riding on a train together. Italian breaks out some sausage and offers some to his companion.

"Is it kosher", asks the Jew.

"No", replies the Italian.

"Then I can't eat it. God's law."

Later, the Italian opens a bottle of wine and offers some.

"Is it kosher?"

"No."

"Then I can't have any. God's law."

"That's one strict God you have there. What if you were starving or dying of thirst and there was nothing kosher around?"

"Well," says the Jew, "God makes exceptions in cases of life and death."

At this, the Italian pulls out a pistol and points it at the Jew.

"Drink the wine!"

The Jew gives him a dirty look, but takes a long swig.

"Hey," says the Italian, "please don't be mad at me. I just wanted you to enjoy some wine."

"You bastard", says the Jew, "where was the gun when there was some sausage left?"

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A duck walks into a hardware store and says to the clerk "Got any grapes?"

The clerk says, patiently, "No, this is a hardware store, we don't have any grapes, try a grocery."

The duck leaves.

The next day the same duck walks into to the same hardware store and says to the clerk "Got any grapes?"

The clerk says, a little less patiently, "No! Like I told you yesterday, this is a hardware store, we don't sell grapes here."

The duck leaves.

The next day the duck walks into the store again and says to the clerk, "Got any grapes?"

By this time the clerk is thoroughly pissed off with the duck and says "No! We don't have any fucking grapes! This is a hardware store! If you come in here and ask me again I'm going to nail your fucking feet to the floor!"

The duck leaves.

The next day the duck walks into the hardware store and says to the clerk, "Got any nails?"

The clerk, relieved, says, "Finally! A sensable question! But no, I'm sorry, we're all out of nails, I just sold the last package."

And then the duck says, "Good. In that case ... got any grapes?"

Boob Eyes...

Oh Noooo!

Tightly Packed...WTF

Somebody threw away two perfectly good white boys.... what a shame.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Panic Attack On The Freeway

I probably would have unbuckled myself & cut 90 degrees and drove right the fuck off the bridge while weeping loudly only to realize that it was a fake dinosaur moments from impact.

Click to ENLARGE

Free...YES!

A Little Airplane Humor...

Friday, May 21, 2010

Joke: A woman goes to the doctor...

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is asleep."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"

30 Years Of PeeWee Herman

2 Years was too many...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Slutty Disney Chicks

And my daughter wants to be a princess...HELL NO!

Madonna's Secret...Revealed!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Funny Reflections

FYI, the first is a famous South Korean actor Lee Deok-Hwa (이덕화). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lee_Deok-hwa

Looks like the orig photo was shot during a celebrity soccer league.

UNITINU

Joke: Food Shortage

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure... In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Not Really Sure What This Is

Is there some use for this device?

Joke: Off To Get Married

On their way to getting married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident. They find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates, waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter shows up, they ask him. St. Peter says, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked that. Let me go and find out,' and he leaves.

The couple sit and wait, and wait. Two months pass and the couple is still waiting. As they wait, they discuss that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered. 'Are we stuck together forever?'

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you can get married in Heaven.'

'Great!' says the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Can we also get a divorce in Heaven?'

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.

'What's wrong?' ask the frightened couple.

'OH, COME ON!' St. Peter shouts, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?'

Also: Odometer Preplanning!

Check out: Artwork from a Single Sheet of Paper!