A proctologist is about to start writing in his charts...

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A proctologist is about to start writing in his charts...

The nurse notices and tells him: "Doctor, I think that's a thermometer you're writing with." He looks at it and says, "God dammit, some asshole must have my pen."


Check out our entire list of jokes HERE
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For Sale: Slightly Used

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For the man that has everything!

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I Heard A Crash...Then Looked Out The Window

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Car Hangs From 6th Floor Tulsa Parking Garage

Tulsa fire crews responded to the scene of an accident at the Bank of America downtown parking garage Wednesday afternoon, after a luxury car broke through an outside wall on the 6th floor and was hanging over the edge.

The incident happened at about 2 p.m.

The 67-year-old driver of the Mercedes told police he somehow got his foot stuck under the gas pedal. He says that caused the car to zoom across the parking garage in reverse and slam into the outer wall.

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Papa John's: Extra Peppers

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I guess I should have been more clear on "extra peppers"!

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Nerd Love: Solve For "i"

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Not many women would get it... :)

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Why Do They Keep Putting Money In The Machine

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I think it's a trap...some dude is gonna not notice it since he'll need his NOS to open his eye more than halfway!

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I Swa lo

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Thanks for clearing that up!

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Cash Is Always Greener On The Other Side

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I guess I need to finish my tour of the landmarks

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Crystal Pepsi

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What could have went wrong?

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Dunce Cap Advancements

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Everything goes full circle....








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Gmail Vowel Outage

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Having 80.8% of the alphabet available is significantly below the 99.9% full letter uptime reliability we strive for. Since identifying the root case of this issue, we’ve started bringing vowels back to Gmail, so you should see them back in your account within the next few hours if you don’t already. In the meantime, while you may still see this issue in Gmail's web interface, both IMAP and POP access are functioning normally. We'll post an update as soon as things are fully resolved and, again, we're v3ry s0rry.







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Bacon Dressed Hottie

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Bacon with a side of boob...mmmmm








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30 Instructions For New Parents

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The How-to's and How-not-to's!







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Bad April Fools Joke

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HaHa...you got me, for like 5 seconds!








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Long Wiwi Wedding

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Better than the Mann-Love wedding I'll be attending later next year!

Lebowski: Time Man Of The Year

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Look into the camera Jeff Bridges!

Hey, Why Are Those Parrots So Expensive?

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Guy walks into a petshop and sees three parrots, priced $500.-, $1,500.-, $2,500.- and $30,000.-, so he asks the owner, "Hey why are those parrots so expensive ?"

"Well," says the owner, "that first one can speak english, german and mandarin perfectly and translates any sentence you desire, from one language into another."

"What about the second one ?"

"Well, that parrot not only knows four languages, but can also type business letters using a computer"

"And the third one ?"

"Oh, that one can speak seven languages, use the computer, e-mail, internet and does online research for you."

"Amazing ! And what about the last one ?", says the guy.

"Oh ! ... that one doesn't do anything at all. Just sits there all day long."

"Then why is it so expensive ?!?!?!"

The owner takes the guy to the side and whispers, "Well, I haven't seen it do anything, but the other three parrots call it BOSS".

Shocking iPad Internals

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Using something reliable to power the iPad!





Here are the additional internal photos of the iPad released by the FCC

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3 Invisible Dicks

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I'm sure the Photoshop junkies will started puttin up links with their masterpieces





Or would you prefer 3 Visible ones???



a dick, a bush, and an ass. no wonder we're fucked.




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