Monday, August 2, 2010

Fuck My Life

Guys, I'm fucking sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a fucking cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive too, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker fucking hates my guts. I have repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart and a gorgeous southern bell. I love her. You know what it's like; I've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all fucking worse is that I live in a fucking pineapple under the sea.

Some people are just FOREVER ALONE!

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Also Check: Chilean Miners, Mario Style!!

133 comments:

  1. Quit bitchin...bitch!

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  2. Um, maybe its because you're a negative prick? Get over it. Smile. Study for your license. GO TO FUCKING SCHOOL! By school I mean college. Your local college. Get financial aid if you have to. Then maybe you'll be happy.

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  3. bahahaha this is great.
    hey, 4th commenter. ITS ABOUT SPONGEBOB. chill out man.

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  4. Funny as hell. 4th poster needs to get a clue.

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  5. 4th made me laugh more than the post.

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  6. lolz @4 and post

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  7. i vote for the fourth post.

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  8. U.S. Army hires High School Graduates, and you'll get out and get paid good too. Seriously, try it out dude.

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  9. This is hilarious, anyone who can't tell that this is a spoof on spongebob, wow, maybe they should go back to school? LOL.I love this.

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  10. This is so funny. I lost I admit it, but OP has my vote for "The Worlds Best" unintentional troll.

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  11. Before calling #4 dumb, remember that it's the rest of you admitting to getting the reference to a little kid's TV show. Just sayin'

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  12. A little kid's TV show? Oh no, Spongebob is much more than that, trust me ;)

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  13. Im pretty sure anyone who isnt a social reject would understand the sponge bob refrence.. I dont watch the show myself and I got it... hell, my 55 year old dad even got it ...

    Even if you didn't get it right away... were you not concerned by the fact that this guy says he lives in a pineapple? That should have flicked a switch...

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  14. Funny stuff. I've seen so many episodes of that show. He seems so naive about it though. You know the only people that are bitching didn't read the entire blog before opening their fat impatient mouth.

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  15. you dont have it anywhere as bad as me and im 16 dude

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  16. people are so dumb its spongebob if u dont get that dont post

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  17. DO YOU GUYS NOT GET THAT THIS IS ABOUT SPONGEBOB?
    jesus christ!

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  18. fuck man, i'm 23 and live with my parents... ill take a pineapple under the sea any day. consider yourself lucky.

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  19. READ THE ENTIRE FUCKING STORY FIRST DUMBASSES.

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  20. It's amazing how many people don't actually read the whole post.

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  21. I was completely on the hook, but went back and finished reading...quality. Especially for those who never got off the hook...

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  22. One thing, make sure you read the whole article before you decide to dish out your own judgment, it's about sponge bob. Well done, very funny.

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  23. Spongebob Squarepants is more than a kid's show. It goes right over the head of most people though.

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  24. This was done before but about Scooby Doo. This is a direct rip-off of that. Taken right off stumbleupon. Fail.

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  25. fourth poster wins the internet. and thirteen should just quit the internet.

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  26. dude, you got me, I quit reading literally one sentence from the end....I guarantee thats where all the haters stopped too...at first I was all....but then I lol'd...read the comments folks, it'll save your internets

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  27. One episode shows Spongebob's license. He's actually like 24. Lol which makes it worse for him.

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  28. ummm...spongbob has a long and distinguished record of academic achievement at Mrs.Puff's Driving School...the U.S. Army may very well be a viable choice for him after all,Im sure they could use a few good sponges...

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  29. I love how even after everyone keeps saying it's about Spongebob, new commenters still can't take the hint.

    IT'S ABOUT SPONGEBOB!!
    Okay, not that that's settled...

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  30. Lol, yeah I thought it was real till the last sentence, sorta gives it away!!

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  31. fuckin great!

    P.S.
    this is a step by step guide for you mistakes that took this seriously...

    1. Punch yourself in the face
    2. Check for breathing
    3. If still breathing, repeat step #1

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  32. LOL@ all the people who didn't get it. lollllllll

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  33. Are you guys for real? Comeon you didn't get"he live in a pineapple under the sea" Where do you live under a F#$*en rock?

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  34. A little kids show? It's been around for about ten yeas now, no shame in being under 30.

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  35. wow some of you guys are retarded...i mean fourth comentator didnt know but there was no refrence to spongebob earlier than his comment...the rest of the comentators who still think its an actual story need to at least read the fucking comments before you post some thing...dumb asses

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  36. Get over yourself dude! I was depressed when I was your age too and I had great prospects. Find something you like doing and do it. Chances are you'll be good at it too. The rest will follow.

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  37. How old is Spongbob anyway? I totally thought he was in his 30s

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  38. At least your pet snail loves you. :)

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  39. I thought it was hilarious, and I didn't get the Spongebob reference because I don't know anything about Spongebob. But everybody knows you're not going to get girls if you live in a pineapple.

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  40. 4th poster: gold star for idiocy.

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  41. Use a rope. Leaves less of a mess for the rest of the family to clean up. :)

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  42. Sorry to hear that my friend, however you can't see it now but things will turn around for you.

    Hang in there!

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  43. 4th commenter made this post worth it

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  44. hahahaha!!! all the people who don't get the joke are, just like a license agreement for software everyone skips the paragraph and reads the last sentence and clicks I AGREE!!!

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  45. THIS POST CHANGED MY FUCKING LIFE,

    ps. #4 is patrick

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  46. OMG THIS POST CHANGED MY FUCKING LIFE. ps. 4 is patrick

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  47. I don't know which is funnier: the story, or the comments from people who don't know you're talking about fucking SPONGE BOB!!! I love this. Thanks for the post.

    You've been had losers!!!!

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  48. hahaha fourth comment, fuckin dumbass

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  49. Al Gore is gonna kill sponge Bob's habitat all gone with global warming.

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  50. "Um, maybe its because you're a negative prick? Get over it. Smile. Study for your license. GO TO FUCKING SCHOOL! By school I mean college. Your local college. Get financial aid if you have to. Then maybe you'll be happy. "

    You my friend... Are a fucking retard.

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  51. everyone who laughed at the spongebob reference, GJ. Everyone else, STFU before you read the whole post. Maybe it will save you from being an idiot. Maybe.

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  52. I love how you can tell who didn't read the entire thing.

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  53. fucking awesome.
    to all the morons who thought this was real, thanks for the laughs.
    and excuse us for understanding the reference to a kids show that we all used to watch when we were kids.

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  54. wow trolled by 4th post.

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  55. awesome even better is the trolling from post 4

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  56. who died in an oil spill because of bp? spongebob square pants!

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  57. Can't really blame a bunch of people for not getting a reference to a popular kids cartoon, especially if they don't have kids nor associate with anyone with younger children.

    Damn funny though, I had a good laugh at the end (and subsequently sang "sponge bob square pants")

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  58. Don't talk shit about Patrick...Patrick is the fucking star.

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  59. Haha, lol @ all the idiots who dont realize that the people "taking it seriously" are trolling them.

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  60. People are still commenting without getting it!!! I'm laughing my ass off.

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  61. At first i was like D: but then i was like xDDD

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  62. I can't believe everyone on here really flipped their shit about post four. Seriously guys, about twenty people decided to make a comment just to call out the same dumbass/troll over and over. Christ.
    By the way, even though I have seen the scooby doo one, this is far superior. Just sayin'

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  63. Hahahahahaa. I totally didn't see that one coming until the end. :)

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  64. LOL I'ma give spunge bob som advice yo.

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  65. What's better than the people that don't get it was Sponge Bob is the people that don't get that most of the people that don't get it are actually trolling.

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  66. Its Sponge bob , you idiots

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  67. #13, Spongebob has been on for 10+ years now. It's no longer a kid's show, it's a cross-generational point of reference for anyone under 25.

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  68. glad that I read the entire thing so I wouldn't look like an idiot like the rest of the people who thought he was serious and were giving advice...

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  69. FRICKIN TROLLED!!! LOL AND 100 INTERNETS TO 4TH ANON

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  70. FRICKIN TROLLED! ALL OF YOU! PROPS TO 4TH ANON AND 100 INTERNETS TO YOU GOOD SIR

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  71. All a bunch of idiots for responding past the first few. Fricken idiots need to grow up.

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  72. then whyd you laugh annoyingly all day, ha?

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  73. I think #4 is a double troll.. Probs OP repostin.

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  74. actually made me "lol."
    lolz achieved

    and lolz@4

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  75. aahaa very nice. all of you who thought this was real are idiots.

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  76. Take out the pineapple reference ....
    Perhaps SBSP is speaking for all the whiny people out there.....

    or the 10000 that post the same comment over and over....its sponge bob......

    My best friend is twitter, my life is so sad I have to update status on facebook every 15 minutes so the world (which doesn't care) knows what I am doing....

    Parody.

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  77. 4th reply earned himself a all expenses paid ride on the fail train.... and pineapples aren't that bad... if preceded by the word express.

    Oh and the advice dog says get drunk and find a gun... to the 4th replier.

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  78. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He-LBIyBUz8&feature=fvsr

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  79. this is the funniest thing i have ever read. the whole time i was reading i was like wow that sucks this guy should just join the military and then he said "i live in a pineapple under the sea" lmao

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  80. And yet ANOTHER Liberal is born. Sounds EXACTLY like a Liberal. There's hope though.

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  81. I very Inter-Adult incredibly funny comment about a Nonsensical fiction character.
    PS To pretend your better by using cyber bullying process conments over the internet means your a loser no goodnik by heart Go read a book or better yet go outside. Better yourself with FACE TO FACE life!

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  82. The only thing that makes this more funny, is the people that take it serious!!!!!!!

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  83. wow, ok 4 below me, he is talking about SPONGE BOB you dumb ass.

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  84. I doubt it! Your grammar and spelling give it up! No one seems to notice though.
    Please suck/fuck it up a little better.

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  85. trolls trollin trolls

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  86. He is actually like 43 or something. (in the movie he got like 200something employee of the months.)

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  87. like mindless lab rats some dick off is controlling this entire post... just like it always will be . Oblivion will blind us and the chem. trails will poison us but we follow our past heading towards no future . all while we comment on a blog that's speaking subliminally to someone indirectly using the cartoon to test the inside joke at ones offense. well 2shay.. and its nice to be important more important to be nice . ya y a well practice what you preach xoxofreak05536

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  88. Sponge Bob is Gay

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  89. you can't be so negative. so what if squidward hates you? he's an asshole, so it doesn't matter if he likes you or not.

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  90. Sounds like you've been watching too much spongebob and you need to sit the crack pipe down.

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  91. That's what Sponge Bob is about?

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  92. I think that this is a bigger issue than just making fun of someone because their life isn't going so well. I have a bigger problem with making fun of your friend because he may be mentally challenged. Maybe you should look in a mirror before you go and insult someone on the internet without any recourse to yourself. As for your female friend, I don't blame her for not wanting to date someone like you. You have a lot of issues that need addressing, the least being your relationship with this "Southern Belle".

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  93. I didn't realize it was about spongebob until the last line.

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  94. My daughter and I watched pretty much most of Spongebob Squarepants..It was the number 1 show for people over 30 for a few years in a row.and top 10 for kids 10+years.A positive goofy,silly,very clever cartoon,always positive.Have you guys listened to yourselves on posting.why all the venom,name calling,bitching?Theres enough real problems out there,jump on something that means something.And make it better.Squidword rules..

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  95. i am LOVING reading all these comments.. EVERYONE that commented is pathetic.. myself included since i actually had the time to read it all.. i can't believe how many of these comments are identical to countless others

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  96. all the people who are commenting like this is some real thing are most likely over 25 with no kids or young family ha. but the comments made this even funnier

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  97. quit being a pussy and join the marines

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  98. Get your head out of your anal cavity, quit feeling sorry for yourself, look around and GET AN EDUCATION. At least you'll be a higher qualified unemployed person!

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  99. hahahahhahaha the best part about this post is in fact the comments. thanks for lauggs guys

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  100. LOL! I'm in college and I still love Spongebob. =9. And #4, wadda idiot.

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  101. ok, I believe quite a few people got legitimately trolled here

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  102. i'am disappointed Bob...i thought we are friends...

    Patrick Star

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  103. "I live in a fucking PINEAPPLE UNDER the SEA!!!" jesus christ even it wasnt about spongebob who the fuck would it be??

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  104. Seriously?? The reason you haven't been able to score a job better than your trailer trash parents is because of your lack ambition. And living in a small town is no excuse for not landing the right "opportunity" outside of flipping burgers at a Mcdonalds for someone like you, you lazy piece of trash.... What the fuck did you expect, a scholarship to a some sort of Divison-I school?? Not to mention, if you can't pass a driving test, just do all of us a favor and take your razor blade and slit your wrist...the long way. It's too bad that you're a bit socially awkward. Have you ever thought that might be a strong hint why your "southern bell"/retarded friend doesn't even like you. Bottom line: you're a waste of space and leech on society. Do us all a favor and take your dumb, uneducated self out of this society.... Or at lease exhile yourself to China or Mexico

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  105. Yeah the 4th commenter is lost which makes the actual post even funnier..

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  106. fuck my life guy giving bj on the right! shit fuck tuna

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  107. "#13, Spongebob has been on for 10+ years now. It's no longer a kid's show, it's a cross-generational point of reference for anyone under 25."

    Absolutely!!

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  108. Lmfao@ serious paragraph near the bottom. That...is...amazing.

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  109. Who the fuck is Spongebob's true love?

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  110. A. Sandy is Spongebob's true love. B. Fucking hilarious. C. Post number four, I love you.

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  111. hahah sum ppl r so dumb fml :)
    tbh sponge bob is legend my 6 yr old boy loves it.

    the ppl who made the script for ideas for the show where on all kinds of drugs while they got there ideas not that i agree with drug abuse but thats where they got there scripts enjoy the trippy show

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  112. To all those haters out there. Spongebob is an American TV Show. There are hundreds of countries that have nothing to do with America and her shows. To all the fellas who think the No.4th poster is an idiot, well guess what, y'all are the big dumbos for thinking there is only 1 country in this world. Joke's on you loosers.. later..

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  113. I thought that was serious till i read the comments :L ;) lol and i watch sponge bob too XD (i have a little brother its okay :D )

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  114. o.m.g. the US isn't the only country?

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  115. the guy who wrote the 4th comment drank to much effin haterade... And he probably sucks at life, molested my by his creepy uncle bill when he was 9, thus making him angry at the world.....

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  116. Oh balls...sucks to be sponge bob huh?

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  117. ahahahahhah this is amazing, only thing is spongebob is gay- patrick is supposed to be his boyfriend, i saw it on "The Making Of"- its supposed to have a gay subtext to make kids more tolerant. They created it with that basis but networks wouldnt run it so they had to make it a lot less obvious. I swear- google it.

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  118. I like the people who don't read the whole thing lol

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  119. So ahh I'm drunk and dee railed I'm pretty sure that if you want to prefect you life that the Marine Corps has a few good things thats right up your alley call right now 1-800-Marines and experience the best of life with a taste of bullshit and be proud and happy you joined today..... No kidding Marines are the best at enjoying the little time off they get and right now three drunk Marines are doing that right now in a barracks in Okinawa Japan thinking that you NEED TO JOIN THE MARINE CORPS AND GET YOUR LIFE ON THE RIGHT P A T H ....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  120. 4th comment made me lol. I like how you spit that into rhyme, that was dope

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  121. im so upset with this life i hatteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ow i wouldnt like to be born it sucks

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  122. Classic -Thanks for the laughs!!!

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  123. Dont Listin to the fukin haters on here lifes a bitch nd no1 gets a say in wut happens

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